Life is just what it is, Life. Then there are trends. Some are predictable while others are not. They vary from lifestyle to health to fashion and so on. In general, relationships have evolved. What our grandparents did no longer applies in the 21st century. If our ancestors were to wake up and have a preview of what life has become, they would certainly prefer to go back to their peaceful graves. Life has become noisy, messy and extremely busy with a lot of things fighting for your attention. There is hardly enough time to cater for everything.
When it comes to relationships, I tend to be a bit traditional and more reserved especially if it’s someone I know very little about. I believe in baby steps so that by the time I get to a point where I can fully release my emotions towards you then I will be totally comfortable with you. I am not a relationship expert, this is just me.
There is a new crop of men. They know nothing about nurturing a relationship and certainly they will not bother about asking the most critical questions. They just sail and swim, if you do not have a grip and a firm stand of what you want then they will sweep you like a Tsunami as they transit to their next victim. Some ladies do the sane but today I will focus on men.
Here is the thing, these men will approach you pretending to be looking for a spouse. They will tell you sweet notjings and before you blink, they will have already invited themselves to your house. You heard me right, yes your house. Out of a genuine heart and you being the nice person that you are, you will host him, cook for him, entertain him and even laugh at his dry humor. He will make himself comfortable in your house. If you are not careful, he will also spend the night in your place without your consent.
Him being the man, you will expect him to give way forward in regards to your relationship but trust me, there will be no meaningful discussion. In short, this is going to be a short-lived experience. Do not expect any kind of commitment from this kind of man. If you happen to get pregnant during this period, chances are that you will raise that child on your own. He is only there for as long as you will entertain him and when he sees another opportunity he will move with the swiftest speed. Most of these men are usually jobless or they fear responsibilities. They are looking for financially stable women to take care of them.
Surprisingly, you will hear some of them admitting that all they want is a lady who can take care of their needs. Most of them date older women because ladies who are younger than then are still unstable, probably in school, trying to find a job or still struggling to find a bearing in life.
You may be fooled to think that this is a perfect match for you. You will be happy in each other’s company or at least pretend to be happy. Once he leaves, you will not hear from him. If you take the initiative to call or text, you will definitely hit a dead end. It will take two weeks, a month or so and when he finally calls you, it’s another self-invitation to your place. When you ask what happened, he will say he was `busy’. `Busy’ that he could not afford to `waste’ even a single minute to either call or text but his social media accounts were ablaze with the most beautiful updates ever.
You saw his road trip photos, you saw him by the beach and you saw how his birthday went down in a lavish manner but you didn’t feature anywhere. When you tried reaching out there was no through way for you. The day he’ll remember it’s because he wats something from you either monetary otherwise. His kind of living is non-commital. I come to you I get what I want then proceed.
These are not the kind of men you fall in love with. Don’t expect any financial or emotional support from such a person. He will add no value to your life and contribute nothing, not even salt that goes for only 15bob. You have to hustle your on your own and feed him. You will fund his expensive lifestyle because he’s ever broke yet he still wants to maintain his class. You will fuel your car for him to go see other girls while you take public transport to work.
They will break you and leave you hopeless. They will land you into unnecessary debt, some have had to service car loans for vehicles they never used. The next thing we’ll see from your posts on social media is ‘all men are dogs’ Do you know why? Because these kind of men will leave a bitter taste in your mouth. They will make you think that is how all men are.
This kind of person will drain your little energy from you and leave you paralyzed. You will be left empty and heartbroken. Before you heal, he will be out having the time of his life with someone else. So before you commit to such busy bodies, give yourself time. If he’s truly yours he will wait, if he disappears after a disagreement or because you did not bow to his demands, those are enough red flags if you are looking for a long lasting relationship.
If you decide to hop around looking for love. You won’t find it. Such are the kind of people you will fall into. Focus on developing yourself, build your dreams, do the things you love. If you want to travel and see the world do it. If you want to build an empire start it. Love will find you along the way in the most unexpected manner and you will be truly happy.
There are quality men who want something solid. They are also wondering where to find quality women because they have seen it all. They want to build families yet they can’t get the right person.